My Life Is Great

Not much time to talk today. I’m playing in a big celebrity golf tournament this afternoon at a course called The Cascades here in Los Angeles. It’s a brand new public course that opened this year. My good friend and personal trainer Dolph Lundgren has played a couple of rounds there and says it’s a fantastic layout.

I’ll have a review of the course for you on my radio show next week. I’ll discuss the holes, tell you how I played and which celebrity got the drunkest. My early favorite is Alan King. I just hope he doesn’t relieve himself on the fourth green again this year.

By the way, if you read my column yesterday, I hope my assistant Steve didn’t disappoint you too much. He says he wants to be a screenwriter, but frankly, I don’t think he’s talented enough to write out my grocery list. He’s a good kid though, even with those quirks.

And if you’re wondering what happened to me in Vegas, let’s just say that I’m glad to be back in town, and I don’t think C. Everett Koop will be calling me for a while. Lucky for me though, Dr. Dre was kind enough to give me a ride home in his car. I believe he called it a "hoopty" – whatever that means. I think he may want get his shocks looked at though, because half the time we were riding on two wheels.

So that’s it. I know it’s a short effort today, but I have to hit some range balls to warm up. If Tim Allen beats me again this year, I may just sell my clubs.

I’m winkin’ at ya, and thinkin’ of ya.
The Showman