Monday, Monday, So Good To Me

Greetings, sportfans! Bumpers here. That’s right – the Showman is back! I took the SportsPage biplane to Indianapolis to take in Game 3 of the Finals. Wow, what a game it was. Now, is it just me or does every little boy in America want to be the next Rick Smits? I think we have more future Dutchmen than Holland.

So, after the game I met Shaq for a little dinner at a cute little restaurant that served great Indiana food. Man, the things those Hoosiers can do with corn. And Shaq really put a full court press on the dinner plates. I’ve never seen anyone eat like that in all my years. And if you remember, The Showman ballooned up to 345 lbs in the mid 70s, so I know what eating excessively is all about.

Yeah, the Lakers lost the game yesterday, but you wouldn’t know it by talking to Shaq. What an optimistic young pup he is. So confident. I wasn’t going to do it, but with Shaq sitting right there I had to talk a little shop with him. So, naturally, we started talking about the movies.

After a long talk we decided that the best thing we could do, if we wanted to work together, was to do a remake of the 1999 smash hit, "My Giant". I know I can act circles around Crystal and I felt the same way about Shaq and Gheorghe Muresean. I mean, Shazam can Shaq act. I thought he really was a genie in that movie. So, basically, we are just upping the acting quality a little bit and with that script I think we are sitting on a gold mine.

Well, I have to go meet Andrew Shue for lunch down in Manhattan Beach. He thinks The Showman is going to give him some career advice, but that kid can’t act his way out of a paper bag. The truth is, I’m hoping his beautiful sister, Elisabeth stops by. When she poured that booze over herself in Leaving Las Vegas I knew I had found the woman of my dreams. Someone who could really understand The Showman.

I’m winkin’ at ya and thinkin’ of ya.
The Showman