Get The Hell Out Of My Way!

Greetings, sportsfans! Bumpers here. I got a few things burning up my craw, and now’s the time to get them off my chest.

First of all, I noticed Oprah has a new magazine. Which gave me an idea. Keep your eyes peeled for Bumpers, a tri-annual publication. I have no clue as to what the magazine will be about. However, I do know this: pictorials will be involved, and our first issue hits newsstands in November.

Second of all, I have absolutely nothing to talk about today. I’m bone dry. Fresh out of ideas. I had no idea how much writing a daily article would take out of me. I thought all of my years on this Earth would give me a wealth of knowledge to use, but unfortunately, that’s just not the case.

I went over to my good friend Michael Robinson’s place the other day. If you don’t recognize the name, he used to be a writer on the show L.A. Heat. If you’ve never seen the show, it’s just like Renegade, except not as good. But then again, L.A. Heat doesn’t have Lorenzo Lamas. It’s too bad there’s only one of him to go around. Anyway, when I walked into Mike’s place, he had some candles lit and he was sitting on a loveseat with Willie Ames as they shared a blue raspberry sno-cone. They both saw me and began shouting "Willie Ames sno-cone! Willie Ames sno-cone!" over and over. Let me tell you, I got out of that place in a hurry.

The NBA has finally wrapped up the regular season.

That’s all for today. I can’t take this anymore.

I’m winkin’ at ya, and thinkin’ of ya.
The Showman