A devastating observation

Coldplay is the Goo Goo Dolls of this decade. An "alternative" band that's safe and bland enough for office managers and housewives to listen to. They can feel like they're on the cutting edge without upsetting the car pool.

I mean, they're not terrible or anything, but let's calm the fuck down, shall we? Gwyneth Paltrow could've married Robb Thomas and never noticed the difference.

So go ahead, keep loving Coldplay. Just know that you're a douchebag and we all see right through you.