You think you have balls?

You don't have balls! Bernard Kerik has balls! And compared to Bernard Kerik, you're prepubescent. In the flurry of Bernard Kerik - whose main qualification apparently was that he was from New York - being rejected as Homeland Security Chief, some interesting details have come to life. Details proving that this guy has massive balls and you have have two jujubees!

So when you have a sack like Bernard Kerik, you don't just have an extramarital affair, you have an extramarital affair with one of the stars of New York's literary set. And not just any star of the New York literary set, you have an affair with Judith Regan, who makes her living...publishing celebrity tell all books!

And you don't just bang Judith Regan in some normal Manhattan apartment while your wife makes dinner back in Jersey, you bang Judith Regan in an apartment that you bought right after 9/11 because of its proximity to Ground Zero. But not one within walking distance, one where the bedroom window...OVERLOOKS THE SMOLDERING PIT THAT USED TO BE THE WORLD TRADE CENTER!

That, my good friend, is huge fucking balls.

I would give ANY amount of money to have witnessed Bernard turning off his cell phone so his wife didn't call, fucking Judith Regan, then getting up and - still nude with a half chub - rubbing his sweaty bald head, looking out on the smoky remains and say, "Goddamn fucking Muslims. No fucking decency, that's what's wrong with those people."