Jesus Loves Me!

It seems that gullibility runs in the family. Former teen chunkthrob Candace Cameron Bure has accepted the miracle of Jesus Christ into her life. So why can't you? Hell, she was even able to get a Russian to buy into Jesus. You know how hard that is?

And I think it's safe to say that Jesus appreciates irony, because the main spot to buy Candace's KREW DVD is at overstock.com. Hard to believe Blockbuster bought too many copies of a straight to video flick about a former CIA operative (former at age 24!) who teaches kids all about safety.

"Okay, kids, remember that if a stranger offers you a candy bar if you get in his car, pull the pin out of your watch and jab it his neck. Then run away and find a helpful police officer."

And I would've paid large sums of money to overhear Candace's conversation with the Olsens at the premiere of New York Minute.

CANDACE - "Ashley, Mary Kate, I'm so glad you're here. Listen, I've seen some of the stuff they're saying about you in the papers, and I wanted to know if you'd accepted Jesus Christ into your life yet."
MARY KATE - "No, but we're"
ASHLEY - "totally thinking about it."
CANDACE - "That's awesome. I should give you this book my brother Kirk gave me and Tracey Gold. It's explains how our sins hurt Jesus, but he loves us anyway and..."
And at this point, Mary Kate starts telepathically talking to Ashley.
MK - "What the fuck is wrong with this bitch?"
ASH - "I dunno. Who cares? You have any cigarettes left?"

What's lost in all of this is what ever happened to Jodie Sweetin? I hope she's okay. And altough I semi-correctly predicted the Olsens would be hot 10 years ago, I really dropped the ball on Kimmy.